Hell hath Frozen over

That's right, Hell has frozen over.. well at least for me anyway and I kinda like it.. okay first let me explain, I swore up and down I would not follow with the mindless neo geeks of the modern Sheep and take part in such stupid activities.. (exp. the all of a sudden popular i-tunes, podcast, and whatnot) but Ive have decided to start a Myspace page, and well its not all that painful hehe I figure hell no one reads this journal figured I'd put my time and interest into something someone might happen to stumble apon lol so I will probably be using myspace's blog and retire this one, but fear not for if I have a stalker out there in the live journal cyber space I will leave you some bread crumbs to follow me into Myspace!!! :D so fear not follow the sweet candy you sickos lmao :)

  • Current Music
    Jimi Hendrix - Voodoo Chile

(no subject)

well I found a job, I am offically a janitor for my old school well I don't work for them but for SSC which is contracted to the school hehe its decent work not the most glamours job but its still a paycheck...

now I need to grab me a new computer, another car, and a few more oddities then I'll be set :D

When the past meets the future

So I havent posted here in ages I dont even know why I continue to do so, not like anyone really reads this besides me anyway lol but yeah my shoulder is starting to heal up pretty good, finally got movment back into it but still have trouble lifting things even the smallest objects give me trouble so yeah Im kinda coaching it along.. hopefully soon I'll get it back in shape...

So I havent worte a single poem in over three years, that was until two nights ago... I feel I havent lost my touch :) feels good to write again, now I just need to get me another job and another car and I'll be doing great :D

Rescue Me

A Fight for Survival

so more to come I guess

Seems about my luck

Last week was probably the worst week ive ever had....

I was driving down 2071 (its a back road) they just recently redone the road so there was lose gravel there, so Im going about 60 (thats the speed limit on the road) and my tire catches lose gravel I fight with it but I lose controll of her so here I am spinning and next thing I know I hit a ditch.. So yeah I tottaled my car, fucked up my shoulder thankfully I was wearing my seat belt or I could have gotten it alot worse then I did.. the seat belt left a nasty scratch on my neck down to my chest, my shoulder made contact with the steering wheel so it left a nasty bruse there... so anyway I dont even remember half of what happend I was pretty much wow at that momment...

Ive never felt closterphobic before in my life until that accedent as soon as it was over I was suddenly hit with a strong urge to get the hell out of my car, Pat was telling me to stay still but that wasnt going to happen, I had to climb out my window because my door was jammed.. first words out of my mouth were "Is it fixable?" lol I knew it wasnt but hey it was worth asking... and thats not even the worst part of it lol

so a State trooper shows up to take a report on the accedent he took one look at me and said my pupiles were contracted sooo small as if a little needle so yeah he thought I was smoking meth or something lol so yeah I didint want to take the ambulience to the hosbital cause well I dont have the money for that and at that time my adrinaline was kicked into high gear I hardly felt the pain in my shoulder and was moving it around so I refused the ambulence (probably another reason why the cop tought I was on some good drugs lmao)

after he made the comment about my eye's I pretty much figured he was going to do those field tests, my foot was hurting as well so I didint do too well on it so yeah I was cuffed and put into his patrol car on my way to Smith county jail for processing lol
in the car I asked the cop to take me to the hosbital instead since thats where I was acctually planning on going after I took care of my car and everything.. so we get to the hosbital and he handcuffs me to a stretcher lol.. yeah like I was going to try and run with a bum foot and sore arm.. so the hosbital took my blood for the drug test they found nothing (of course I knew that but the cop didint) but I did get some good pain meds though!! lol

So I had to give the title of my car over to the towing service to cover the towing charge since I dont have $300 to get it out plus its not even fixable unless I wanted to spend a couple thousand dollars on it :( so now Im stuck without a car my shoulder is fucked up still, and Im not sure how long I can take off before Bossman starts looking for another employee....

so yeah to sum up last week in two words?

I'm Fucked
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed

(no subject)

Okay didint fuck up my knee to bad, still hurts every once inawhile but its good..

Not much to update with today, ummm I finally got paid!! so yeah Im happy about that, the hours Ive been working sucks.. barley making $80 a week and well thats just not good... but hey its one of the best jobs Ive ever had.. I should get off my lazy ass and go fill out an application at the news paper.. anyway Im out

(no subject)

Where to start....

So this job Ive had for awhile now is really starting to work out great, I mean I can pretty much pick my own hours, my own Days, and I get paid 7$ an hour, only downfall and well its a big one, I dont work many hours, 10 or 15 at most is what I make in a week I bearly see $70 a month, So I really need to get off my lazy ass drive down to the Newspaper place and fill out an application, Also and not to incrimidate myself here as Im not sure who will end up reading this later, I almost got a good full time job, minimum wage of course but the hours were nice.. only problem was I failed the drug test lmao yes I know I know. but its not like I didint try, I downed 5 two letter bottles of water and drank a Flush drink (something to clean your system out) well the only problem was that flush drink was dated to March 2000, however it was on the printed label and not on the bottle itself so that threw my friend off, I figured it was a 50/50 shot if I get the job I get the job if not oh well :) not like I can't find another one, and with this job I have now I'll have gas money to go looking.

also decied that since I got this job and its acctually a more physical labouring job I met up with my friends and now I have acess to a nice private resort pool :D that's just right across the street where I stay at most nights, so yeah Im going to start swimming alot more, down fall is now my left knee is hurt, I figured I sprained it some how but its been killing me for 3 weeks now, I really hope I didint fuck it up...

Peace out hommie G's
  • Current Mood
    high high

Here there be Pirates!

Movie Critiqued

Pirates of the Carabian 2

* * *

I was infact acctually pleased with this movie, the way it was done and made.. I was surprised that it turned out as good as I was hoping it did. There were many parts of the movie I found just lacked in certian ways, however I was not disapointed and it was worth the money to go see in theathers however the first so far is still the best, though after watching the second it makes you want to go watch the third just to see what they did... I wount spoil the movie since its still fairly new in theathers, but Captian Jack fans wount be disapointed :D

The Tides Turn

okay where to begin, First I'll start off by saying I finally found a job :D the strangest way Ive ever gotten a job but hey its money, I was in a gas station with a friend of mine the other day and out of no where this guy starts talking to me, he noticed my short hair and well asumed it was long the way it was cut (which of course it was) so he just started on and on after about the 3rd sentence I could smell the booze on his breath, yeah not a good starter but as we talked I found out he owned the furniture repair shop down the road and was looking for someone to do grunt work for him, he said he will pay $7 an hour... so I got his number and called him the other day I start working Thursday :)

well thats about all for this update check back later

The Disease of Man

We are a dieing Race, franticly trying to pass on our genes to the next age.. our Scientific prowess as granted us cures to many of the common illnesses that have killed many in the past, yet were still dieing, still suffering, and still unable to resolve our most basic of all disease's "ManKind"

We are the only species on this planet that kills for sport or simply put for fun, We claim to be the smartest most intellegent, but yet after all the bombs have been dropped the most simpilest lifeform will be preserved... the cockroach, we stomp them out yet they keep coming, they breed far faster then humans one parent could have hundreds of offspring.. They co-exsist with Human's feeding from our scraps we waste and throw away and
throughout our Whole exsitance, Human's have lied, cheated, stole and killed all because of our basic human nature, which is known as Free will, Animals have them yet why do we kill, rape, and mamme.

Stupidity and ignorence will be our downfall
Compasion and faith will be our catalists to destruction
Love and Lust are our drugs to insanity

its a maricale were even still alive...

The CrossRoads of my Life

I realized something the other night, something kinda ironic acctually...

This last past year I havent felt a single burden of depression, I havent had a "Breakdown" since I left from TN, thats not the ironic part, the worst part about it is, this last past year Ive lost more friends then any other year....

its not that I dont know why, infact I know why perfectly well, I guess I've just gotten to the point where Im tired, tired of all the bullshit, Tired of being the only one trying to keep my friendships alive... I give and give and give, and what do I get? being ignored, cast aside, or forgotten all together... I havent spoken to Pat or Chris in about a year now, last time I saw them was when their back was turned to me trying to hurry themselves to push a car out of a drive way...

Its not just RL friends either, for years my Messangers have sat with well over 100 contacts of them, half of which were supposovly good friends... my ICQ has/had over 60 contacts, my MSN, well over 30, and Yahoo.. roughly 30.... do ANY of them bother to message me? Nope, does any of them bother to chat? Nope...

Some of these people Ive known for well over 5 years, who I havent spoken to in over a year... a part of me dies inside as I sit here and watch my contact list and see good friendships disolve into Nothing, I guess when its all said and done with, friendship is nothing more then a word that escapse the lips of those who need something or want something... but to define the very nature of Friendship would be just that, the need of companionship...

I thought about wiping out my contact lists on all my messangers, but for the longest time I sat there and thought "maybe they will message me later" well its been later, and still no word...

There are a few on there who I still do keep in touch with on a rare basis, who I still feel like they care... but then there are those who I've known even longer, who has helped me out so much in the past, then to feel like Ive been forgotten about them?

So I find myself at a crossroads, its really not a hard path to choose, its one I walk every day, the path of solitude is long and relentless, I mean whats the point of even having them on my list if they are not even going to talk to me anymore?

So before I go and delete their names and pretty much never speak to them again....

To All my Lost Friends

Thank you for giving me the memories, The time inwhich Ive known you had its better days, and its worst nights... Goodbye and let life treat you good

while Im on the subject, there are a few of those friends who I'd like to a write a specail message too...


I wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me, you were litterally there for me during one of my darkest hours, no matter what seemed to bother me I always felt like I could go to you, and its why it hurts so bad to say goodbye, you've always told me Honesty was the biggest part to a good friendship... so I say this with all my Honesty that I will and do truely miss you... but it seems like ever since I left something has changed between us.... but I guess that happens when someone dates their daughters..... I never wanted our friendship to change, in the end its my fault, no one was to blame but me, no one told me I had to date your daughter, I chose too...


I never could remember your real name, and I know you'll probably never even read this message... but you were a good friend to me and in all honesty Ive always looked up to you :) I wount forget our invasion of the Eye boards hehe :P hope life treats you good bud


what can I say, out of all my friends Ive known that I no longer talk to I'd have to say Ive known you the longest.. You were always fun to talk to, you inspired me to learn :) youve helped me to understand alot about who I am and what I like... though I may have known you the longest but it saddens me to say your also the one I havent talked to in the longest... I will always miss you, as there will always be a place for you in my mind and heart


I know you keep in touch with Red who I rarely keep in touch with, but still 2 years is a long time to go without a hi, Hope life is treating you good bud, and just remember, be yourself, and good friends will find you :)

And Last but certianly not least...

To Tiffany

I remember you telling me once "Closure can ease pain" so I guess this is my closure, its been 2 years since I last saw your face, I think of you from time to time, I treasure the memories I have with you... and over the years its gotten better, the pain, everything... I hold onto the knowleage that I came out stronger in the long run, that even though I lost an Angel, I saw what Heaven looks like :) You were the first person I truely opened up too, I can hardly remeber those two weeks as it seemed like they went by too fast, but I can remember laying there at night relfecting on life and how good it could be, you showed me what love really ment..

You will always be in my heart, and the memories I'll carry with me to my grave... I wanted to tell you that, I never loved anyone more then I loved your smile, the way you looked at me, and I'll never love anyone like I loved you, as no one could replace you... Now I move on, even though I dont know what tomarrow holds for me, I smile each day with my head held up :)

"You Stole my heart with just one smile, capturing my sight with your own style"

I will always love you, and thank you,


In closing I'd like to comment I know Real life plays an important role, everyone has one weather you like it or not, but a simple hello, or sorry I missed you, never hurt anyone :)
Hope everyone has a good life :)
  • Current Mood
    calm calm